a delight i didn't entirely expect

Let me read it to you...

I stand inside my slippers at the counter with a mug of coffee between my hands, swaying back and forth, mesmerized by the shadows of a maple tree dancing in sunbeams on the floor in front of me. The September light streams in on a cool breeze through the curtains and I think, “I want to remember this.”

Working from home these days is a delight I didn’t entirely expect. I don’t feel at all trapped or bored or lonely. In fact, I find it much easier to stay connected to my own care. I get to pause for dappled autumn light on the kitchen floor and work some almond oil into my cuticles between spreadsheets and zoom meetings. The laundry is always done. Less makeup. More deadlifts.

Mostly, I find myself enjoying what I have. I’ve stopped being such a chaser and have reacquainted with an abundance of crafting supplies in my office drawers, a multitude of fingernail polish, a collection of unused journals and sketchpads. I’ve stopped compulsively buying books and started reading the ones I bought two years ago.

For a time, I never thought about my age. I had to do the math to figure it out. But something about the number 52 seems to stick around like cheap perfume. It’s a perfect deck of cards without the jokers – how could I forget that? I now remember my grandmother at 52 and geez, how I wish she were around to give me some pointers. 52 brought me deep curiosity about retirement, but also plenty of reminders that tomorrow isn’t promised. It’s a weird place to be, between making plans for 2035 and being grateful that 2020 is giving me one more day.

Today is sunflowers and sweet corn, crossing guards in school zones and ash trees letting go a little. Soup’s on and a bowl full of Honeycrisp takes center stage on the dining table. Now where did I put those flannel sheets?

I take another sip of coffee while the wind makes ocean sounds through the screen. Soon all will fall silent for the winter and I think, “Yes, let’s remember this.”

"A delight I didn't entirely expect..." is a borrowed line from a poem written by Ronna Bloom and featured in the September 2020 issue of Turn the Page. Subscribe below! 2020 is brimming with the unexpected. Make sure you take time to notice (and write about) a few delights to balance out the dreadful.